


Keeping the Faith

by twizted_dezirez



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s13e04 The Big Empty, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Season/Series 13 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:49:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12636108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twizted_dezirez/pseuds/twizted_dezirez
Summary: Exactly how Sam and Dean made up...or one way it could have happened.





	Keeping the Faith

**Author's Note:**

> My first drabble of wincest. Of course it was inspired by an episode, and totally not my fault. Blame the alcohol. 
> 
> The only huge mistakes you'll need to look out for while reading this is the confusion in my brain between j2 and wincest. I will not do it intentionally so if the name Jared or Jensen is mentioned, please let me know. I'll happily fix it.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are love.

Upon their return to the bunker, Sam had made for the study wordlessly. The drive home was awkward and filled with silence, stilted questions, and stuttered answers. Nobody wanted to stop to pee or eat. They didn't even stop at a convenient store to refuel. 

Jack was sure all the awkwardness was because of him. He had used his powers. It was the first time he'd consciously used them. It wasn't bad, just weird. Sam was in trouble, and Jack was only acting off base instinct. Dean had weirded out when he came too. He wouldn't even face Jack or speak to Sam, so it all had to be his fault somehow. 

Dean was filled with self-loathing. Of course it wasn't the first time, but this time felt different somehow. Each time before they'd usually always had someone they could count on. Now with everyone gone, and he was pushing Sammy even further away. He's feels more alone than ever. Being alone always makes it worse. He had went to his room upon their return. He needed to be by himself a bit. Give himself sometime to think. He knew that he would need to apologize to Sam, and he knew that he had to be sober to do it. Sam wouldn't accept it otherwise. 

He went to the kitchen to fetch them a couple beers so they could talk about it. He was sure everything would start to get better once he talked to Sammy. He luckily bumped into Jack in the kitchen. He used the opportunity to let the kid know he did a good job. He knew the kid deserved to at least hear that much from him. Those words were very little out of Dean's mouth, but they did a lot in terms of giving Jack the reassurance he needed.

It was no surprise Dean found Sam curled in on himself still in the study. Sam always curled in on himself when he was hurt. He tried to make himself seem as small as possible, and Dean couldn't stand it. It would always make him want to wrap his huge baby brother up in his arms, keep him safe. 

He brought Sam a beer, hoping to ease his nerves, but Sam only set it aside. 

Dean decided to lay it all bare for Sam to see. It wasn't the first time ever, but it seemed significant enough for Dean at the time. Sam wretched his world away as he gave Dean what he thought Dean wanted. "Maybe you're right." Sam had never been willing to admit that Dean was right about anything just as Dean had never willingly came out and apologized for anything. 

Dean pleaded with him to keep the faith. He had to. Hell he had to keep enough for the both of them because Dean didn't have any faith left for anything or anyone. Sam looked even more pained than before, but didn't say anything back. He finished the page he was reading and silently went off to bed--leaving the beer untouched on the table. Dean shook his head, knowing full well that'd he'd really fucked up this time.

Dean sat there on the table looking to the empty chair Sam had left only moments ago. He bitterly wondered if he'd finally succeeded in pushing Sam away for good. Hell Dean had nothing else left, why not push Sam all the way out too? He half expected Sam to take a shot him earlier in the day, but Sam didn't, he just walked away. It was like he didn't care anymore. Like Dean wasn't worth the fight. He fought back a single tear as he downed what was left of his beer. _Beer isn't nearly strong enough to cut it_ , Dean idly thought to himself. He was about to go back to the kitchen in search of something stronger when another thought occurred to him.

_Apathy_ , Dean's mind provided. What could be worse than that? NO. There was no way Sam would be apathetic toward Dean. Never.

Dean padded down the hall after Sam instead of heading into the kitchen to raid the liquor cabinet. He came to Sam's door and found it expectantly locked. Dean smiled, _the predictability of this kid_. He shook his head and pulled his lock picks from his back pocket. 

Sam had to get away from Dean. Dean had said he didn't believe in anything anymore, and Sam took that to include himself. Sam couldn't handle it. He knew things had been hard since everyone was gone, but him and Dean still had each other right? Wrong. Dean didn't want to get through this together. He wanted to get through it on his own, and left Sam to deal with it by himself. Sam couldn't deal. He always counted on Dean to have his back no matter what, and now Dean didn't even believe in him anymore.

Within moments Dean was standing in Sam's room completely uninvited. Sam wasn't asleep yet and both of them knew it. He was crawled under the covers holding his breath and wishing he would have put a heavier piece of furniture in front of the door. Dean stood there watching Sam for a moment. There wasn't much light coming in from the hallway, so he couldn't make out very much. Sam was still unmoving under the covers, as though he were waiting for Dean to make the first move. 

"You locked me out for a reason?" Dean asks. 

Sam mutters something unintelligible in the pillow. 

Dean steps closer. "Say again?"

Sam's still mumbling into the pillow and keeping his body still. 

Dean climbs in the opposite side of the bed and cuddles up close to Sam. 

He throws an arm over and attempts to pull him close. 

"I'm sorry," Dean whispers against him. This time Sam believes him. "I need you." He whispers next. 

Sam can't refuse, he never could. He turns over openly to Dean, and wraps him in a hug pulling him even closer.

Dean reaches out to lick and nuzzle at Sam's neck, "Hold me?" he offers. Sam shakes his head slightly. He never could deny Dean anything.

They lay there like that until Dean falls asleep, his head resting on Sam's shoulder. Sam lays awake staring at the ceiling and planning his next move. 

Shortly before dawn he decides that he will break through to the other dimension somehow, and he'll use Jack's help to do it. He decides not to share his plans with Dean because if Sam can break through on his own and get to mom, save her, maybe then Dean's faith will be restored. Dean's faith in Sam will be restored. Sam gives Dean a reassuring squeeze. "I'll find a way to make it better on my own," he whispers in the darkness.


End file.
